Book review (i) - "What They Don't Teach You at Harvard Business School"

I found people skills can sometimes be very important in different business situations. Hence, I have been reading books on this topic. 

"What They Don't" is a very good book that teaches some "street-smart" and practical business skills. I will share some learnings from this book in a series of blog posts:

Reading people

- A person's true nature, true self, cannot change with situations. Most business situations provide all sorts of evidences that allows you to see beneath the surface. The better you know someone, the more you can predict how he / she is like to respond in any business situation.

- Listen and observe aggressively.

- Business is a constant process of keeping your own guard up, while encouraging others to lower theirs. Usually, the less formal the situation or venue, the more likely people will be o let their guards down. Formal business situations, highly structured meetings, etc on the other hand are likely to be less revealing.

- Be prudent: the idea of using what you have learned about people is not tell them how insecure you think they are or to point out all the things you think they maybe doing wrong. If you let them know what you know, you will blow any chance of using the insights effectively.

- Be detached: if you force yourself to take a step back from any business situations, you powers of observations increases. 

Creating impressions

- In any new business situation there is a kind of mutual sizing up that goes on between the players. Whoever is better equipped to control the impressions being formed will walk away accomplishing the most.

- Be aware of all the subtle opportunities you have everyday for impressing positively, as well as all the "not so subtle" ways to impress negatively. If you can take advantage of all the little opportunities to create an overall, ongoing image of competence, effectiveness, maturity and fair-minded toughness - the image of the kind of people other want to do business with - people will forgive all sorts of "out-of-character" behavior in you.  

- Make a notable gesture: business gestures are acts made on behalf or at the request of someone for the purpose of obligating that person in some ways. However, the more a favor is perceived as "owing you one", the less effective it will be. 
- Business gestures fall into two categories: 

1) gestures that are easily overlooked, ignored, or misinterpreted - this type of favor either go unnoticed or actively work against you, you don't want to make this kind of gesture; 

2) gestures that are appreciated in the long term. Examples include: 

i) acting as a middleman;
ii) doing something for the kids;

iii) let people off the hook - ie. "let them change their minds". It can be tempting to say "but you promised......". However, if you can listen to why someone wants to change his / her mind and consider the overall relationship, it maybe in your interest to let him / her off; 

iv) flatter legitimately;

v) make friends - you don't have to become best friends with everyone, but call them up occasionally, find out how they are doing;

vi) make mentors - "mentorism" means seeking advice / direction from someone you respect and trust. Pretty soon, the line between giving you advice and doing you a favor totally disappear;

vii) be discreet.